The Human Connection (Why it's important to listen and empathize)

It's New Years Eve, by the time I type this.

Listen, I had a rough day.

For context, I work at a place that receives donations, then sells them to others.

We tend to keep track of how many donations we get per day. Well, I do at least. We were already reaching close to 100 nearing Christmas, and while we got swamped the two days after that day, it was manageable.

Fast forward to the next week (by that, I mean skip Sunday and you're there). It's closer to New Years, which means people are basically bum-rushing us now.

Why is that? Well, first off people have now had the time to undecorate Christmas (can't relate) and figure out all the stuff they're gonna return. Second, we give out slips for people to use on their taxes. Today was the last day for them to get one that is dated in this year, because if it's done next year, it can't be included in the taxes.

So today was hell. 120 donations minimum before I left. I was sweating my ass off, and my brain had been fried from having to interact with so many people. I was done for the day. Unfortunately, the day was not done with me.

I learned that I broke one earbud of my bluetooth earlier that day (thank you dad for providing a replacement the same day), and then, when I was planning to draw with YouTube playing, my new headset was low on battery. Putting it on the charger, I then tried to put the YouTube video in my browser, and learned that my internet was fudging out (thank you dad again for helping me out with my unique internet issue).

I was talking about how I might not have the energy to celebrate New Years this night, trying to explain how I've felt about holidays for the past several years, when he invited me in the garage to sit and chat.

I feel that a majority of people nowadays just go through the motions of every facet of life. I first noticed it in how people do actions that are supposed to be from someone who has manners. However, they do it strangely. It doesn't always feel... genuine.

It's part of some people's culture to be a gentleman. I know, being part of the South, that it's part of mine too. Sometimes I don't think people understand how and when to use their manners. Thus, it feels like a hollow gesture coming from them.

I feel like it's happened with the holidays too. They all have a kind of spirit to them back then. Halloween was often looked forward too, so was Christmas. Now, it doesn't carry that same spirit for me. I feel that's because people are doing the actions of the holiday, but they don't actually put their spirit into it, let alone understand said spirit.

I don't enjoy the holidays because they stopped having spirit for me.

My parents smoke weed in the garage, while they unwind and talk about stuff. My dad offered to do only the latter with me.

So we were just having conversations while he smoked. As we did, I noticed that I was feeling better. No, this isn't the weeds that did it. Even though we didn't actually talk about what has bothered me, I was feeling calmer and better.

I believe that I know why that is now.

Let's use some examples: I had also vented about the holiday seasons making jobs much, much worse in a vent channel on Discord. I did this on my second and final break during work, so that was partially why it didn't help. But the other parts also didn't help.

If you vent, it's sometimes nice to get responses. You don't always get them though. You also need to avoid dealing with Yes-Men and their equivalents. Regardless, I feel the base result is the same: it still sticks with you. It's like your thoughts are a bundle of yarn, and when you just vent in a channel (or cut the middle man and just scream in the void), you're essentially tossing the yarn away in the hopes that it doesn't return to you. But it will. The yarn has loops on all the sorts of hooks you still provide it.

When you make conversation in a relaxed and homely setting, usually in places like a public house (or as it's commonly known, a pub), you're essentially organizing the yarn that is your brain. Turning it from a mass of stuff you don't want into something workable.

You get your thoughts organized, with the help of others who listen, understand, and provide a different filter to your woes.

As it turns out, being social with the right people is very beneficial to everyone involved. Just the act of hanging out even without discussing what's bothering you can loosten you up enough to relax after a long day.

It calmed me down more than my initial anti-social plans to draw while listening to YouTube.

Funny how that works.